Why Life Coaching can be a transformational toolbox …
for anyone who manages people, works with people, or shares data or wants to use data on a regular basis
First of all, no I am not selling you anything. I genuinely wonder what it would look like to prioritize these skills in the workplace.
Here is a list of things make up the core of a good life coaching program
You learn how to listen to people. Not just like “get your hearing-aid checked” can I hear the words that you are saying listening, but connect the dots between the things that you are saying, what else are you bringing to this conversation without saying it directly kind of listening
You learn how to ask really good questions. My grandmother has taught me by the way she greets everyone she wants to talk to with great questions that make you feel so loved.
It’s not about fixing people which means that there is no one right answer. This can give a conversation (and people) so much space to bloom.
You learn how to recognize where you have needs, opinions, or judgements in a conversation. Is this about me or is this about what we are talking about?
You learn how to confirm whether you are accurately interpreting someone else’s words. Lots of “so what I think I’m hearing is. How many times have you been in a meeting where you have a question about something someone said and then 10 minutes later havent been able to clarify and the conversation has jumped at least 2 topics.
You learn how people who aren’t like you (in my case folks who aren’t privileged able-bodied cis white women) might want to be interacted and how unconscious bias can show up in what feel like “simple conversations”
How this can help in the workplace, you ask. Have you ever had a conversation where eventually you figured out (maybe a couple days later) that you weren’t having the same conversation with someone?
For instance, there was a time when I was talking to my boss about how I put together the how to assessment manual and we just kept frustrating each other. The conversation ended with him asking me to rewrite the whole thing.
So let me breakdown some of the ways a coaching toolbox helped me here:
Listening - after taking some time to reflect and think about what he was saying and how he was saying it, I realized later that he was actually talking to me about how to make sure that people perceive our office “professionally.
Not about fixing people - I thought we were having a conversation, but really he was just telling me what to do. There was one right answer here, recognize that the way you format a report matters and fix it.
What are your needs, opinions, etc. - I realized that I really like the work that I had done and was looking for some acknowledgement of the work that I had put into the document, even though it wasn’t ready for folks to see outside of our office.
I’ve worked in higher education for over 10 years as the person who is charged with reporting out what learning looks like in the classroom. Listening skills have not once come up as a priority in the classroom. This is not to say that higher education is doing a bad job or leaving something out. Goodness, there is enough that goes into the college curriculum. I point it out just to say, where were we supposed to learn how to listen and participate in a dialog? I honestly, personally, cannot think of ever getting a lesson in listening (other than wait for the next person to stop talking. No shade to my parents).
Who taught you how to listen?
